I am 34 and have lived in Arbroath all my life. I had a pretty good childhood and my mum and dad were always there for me, and still are. Growing up, I thought I would meet a man, fall in love, get married, have kids and live happily ever after!
But my life fell apart when I was 19. I fell pregnant to my ex-partner and we had a little girl – who died after just nine days. We both went off the rails; I had a nervous breakdown and just couldn’t cope with life. I ended up spending the next 5 years in an abusive relationship and had another two kids to him. I eventually plucked up the courage and left him when my boy was 2 and I was pregnant with my little girl. I decided it was easier to bring up two kids on my own.
Life was not easy. I was depressed, felt alone, worthless and useless and felt that there was no future for me. You could say that I had given up as I had lost my confidence, self-esteem and all my friends. I was empty and broken and felt I had nothing.
Then I came to know a Christian woman who, now, has become one of my best friends. At first, I thought she was mad as she would talk a lot about God and Jesus and his Holy Spirit. I was scared because I didn’t understand and so I kept away from her for a time. But when I did get to know her better, I came to like her and became more and more interested in what she was saying. She then suggested that I start attending St. Andrew’s Church which is where I have been for the last four years.
At first, I just sneaked in and sat at the back; I didn’t want to speak to anyone. But I always felt so at peace when I was in the church and I found myself being interested in what the minister was saying. I just wanted to keep going.
It was about two years ago that I became a Christian and have now become fully part of St. Andrew’s. My life has changed so much! I have gained lots of confidence. I have started a job. I am in a new relationship and have made lots of friends who truly care about me and my family and I know they are always there if I need them.
I never thought any of this would be possible! With all that I am, I thank God every day for my changed life! I know it isn’t always going to be easy as we all have our ups and downs. But what I do have is that God is always with me and I have a peace in my heart. I don’t feel alone anymore and I feel that my Lord has given me a future and a hope. I look forward to whatever he has planned for my life and want my life to give glory to Him – my awesome God!
